Press Release Draft Comments

Today Dennis took a look at the first draft  Press Release Heidi and i had written. We had taken quite a while to implement the necessary elements of a press release and found ourselves grappling around for the appropriate phrases at times.

Denis said that all the information was there it just needed editing and moving around.

PRESS RELEASE TEXT

Key things to change are:

• Change the beginning so it is punchy and interesting:  Your invited to view the extraordinary collaboration of up and coming fashion designer Marko Mitanovski, and film making duo Heidi Wood and Gemma Seager.
• Put dates and times in a later paragraph
• Don't reference long lists of magazines Marko's clothing has been in: ... every where from Ponytail to Glass Sublime! 
• Change the Font so it is more appropriate to fit the film and designer: We must make sure it is universally fitting for the market we are aiming for, but also others who read it.
• Read the whole thing out to each other and make sure it makes sense and flows.
• Refine the description of the visuals: (When describing the purpose of the landscape in relation to the clothing) ... the combination of landscapes and the narrative help give the clothing a life force of its own. 

PRESS RELEASE IMAGE

The image was a success. We printed a colour version for Dennis to see the original. We thought the colours in the original were much to strong and pulled away from the melancholic feeling we were aiming for. However Denis thought the vibrant blue sky was strong enough to differentiate the image if it were sat on a desk with many other press releases. It was suggested to edit the image from colour to part black and white leaving the vibrant blue sky (as shown below)

We think this image is really effective and will have to see on printing it if it is better than the entirely black and white one. I think due to the fact the character is in high contrasting black and white and that she has a melancholic expression and body language the colour of the sky may not interfere to much. This image needs further editing once more with lightening shadows in the background and removing unwanted blades of grass!